The lights were dimmed, and we (myself and thirteen colleagues on a professional development retreat) were well into watching a video, The Overview Effect, when it happened. When a seed was planted.
A fact that at first seemed rather innocuous, even questionable…until it wasn’t. Until I did some research, and began to contemplate the vastness, mystery and wonder of it.
Until it germinated, grew, and fully ripened in the garden of my mind:
We’re all comprised of stardust
That’s what the speaker, a former astronaut, said.
In fact, according to Physics Central, stardust atoms account for 40 percent of all the atoms in our body, and a whopping 93 percent of our total mass.
In a very real sense, we’re all stars!
Of course, we don’t always feel like it. Far from it. There’s times when we let others or ourselves down, when we fall short of our goals, or we feel just plain lumpy, dumpy and grumpy (to understand how our expectations play a role in this, read my previous post, Sneaky Saboteurs).
But none of that changes the facts. We’re made of the stuff of stars, and stars are meant to shine.
Accept the Challenge and Your Own Perfect Imperfection
So, here’s my challenge to you in 2017: Shine. Sine. Shine.
How?
Well you can start by loosening your grip on expecting to always get it right, always knowing the answer, always pleasing those who are important to you, or always looking, feeling, and being at your best. Even the sun has a dark spot.
And just like every star, you’re a one off—unique in all your imperfections. So do your best to embrace them all. Without any one of them, you wouldn’t be who you are right now. I like to think of this state of ‘isness,’ of how I am at any moment, as Perfect Imperfection.
Why not try that concept on, and see how it fits with you?
It doesn’t mean you can’t aspire to be different, to develop and grow. But while you’re busy making plans for the ‘better you’ in 2017—home, health, work, relationships—allow some space and time to appreciate the wonderfully unique person you already are. Right here, right now.
Need help getting started?
Appreciate Your Uniqueness (a helpful exercise)
Here’s a little exercise you might like to try (go ahead, grab a pen and paper, and give it a go right now, if you like):
Choose any one of the following topics:
- Three things you did today/recently that have been nice or helpful for others (saying hello to a stranger, making a cup of tea for a workmate, taking your dog for a walk).
- Three things/quirky things you like about your body (one of mine is the crooked middle finger on my right hand).
- Three things you’re good at (tennis, crosswords, telling jokes).
- Three things you did well today (swam 30 laps, made a great presentation, cooked a really tasty & nutritious meal).
- Three things you admire about yourself (sense of humour, loyalty, willingness to learn).
Once you’ve chosen your topic, write down your first answer.
Then stop, pause, and close your eyes.
Picture what you’ve written about—allow yourself to bask in its radiance. Soften in your body, and soak in the goodness, beauty, subtlety and uniqueness. Feel free to smile, laugh, sigh…whatever feels right to you.
Then when you’re ready, repeat the same process for each of your next two answers.
Consider doing this exercise daily for at least two weeks, and see what you notice (more of, less of, differently). You can easily adapt the questions to have a focus on work, home or other dimensions of your life in which you’d like to let your radiance shine more brightly.
You might even like to come up with additional topics of your own—fully exploring the wonder of you and your sparkling little atoms.
Mindfully Grow and Shine More Brilliantly
But understand too that for some people this exercise can feel awkward or uncomfortable. Sometimes messages we’ve received from others, events in our life, or other circumstances can shield us from our own radiance—trick us into thinking it’s not there. Like a dark, rainy, cloud filled night where there appears to be not a single star in the sky.
If this is how you feel—or if you’ve been taught that ‘blowing your own trumpet’ is poor form—perhaps consider giving yourself permission to find just one thing that you’ve done that was nice or helpful for someone. Or one quirky thing you like about your body. Or one thing you’re good at. Then simply allow yourself, to the best of your ability at the time, to bask in the glow of that one thing. Let it soak into every pore of your being.
By taking the time to regularly notice, appreciate and revel in our own uniqueness and beauty, we build the belief, confidence, and conviction necessary to explore our full potential.
By spending as much, if not more, time and energy noticing what is right with us rather than what is wrong (or needs improving), we build the capacity to take greater risks, confidently seek growth opportunities, and constructively respond to setbacks with resilience and determination.
And in the process, we begin to let our starry radiance shine in all its energetic brilliance.
What greater gift could we give to ourselves or the world in 2017?