THE SPACES IN BETWEEN: Where Life, Love, and Leadership Happen

Atfirstthissentencemightseemhardtoreadinfactitwasevennchallengingtotypebuthopefullyitwillbeeffectiveindemonstratinganimportantpoint.

In case you’re thinking the sentence above is the result of a software glitch on your device, relax. It isn’t. If you weren’t able to decipher it on your first attempt, consider giving it another go.

Start by taking a long, slow, deep breath—resist the urge to hurry and let go of any need to try hard. Just allow one word at a time to take shape right before your eyes…as you relax into the experience.

Easier the second time around? I hope so.

Of course, had I put spaces in between the words it would have been easy to read. You would have been able to whizz right through that sentence and onto the next, wouldn’t you? Except you might not have gained appreciation for the spaces!

Spaces that we generally take for granted as we move from one word to the next…or in life, as we move from one experience to the next. Continually on our way to something else, someplace else, or someone else—something more important.

But ask yourself this:

While you’re focussed on moving on to the next task, the next conversation, the next event, the next achievement, what are you missing in between? In the spaces?

Subtle nuances that might enable you to take more from a conversation? Important insights that might help you to connect more fully with the people you lead or love? New information that might lead to possibilities or opportunities you would have otherwise missed? Precious time to think more deeply, to reflect, to savour, to nourish yourself?

Or, in the words of the poet Mary Oliver, the chance to more fully appreciate ‘this one wild and precious life’ that is yours, and yours alone?

The good news is, you don’t have to choose between checking things off on your to-do list and fully experiencing the spaces in between, just as you don’t have to choose between letters and spaces when you read—you get both. In fact, you need both to understand the meaning of the whole.

So, too, in life, love, and leadership. Both the destination and the journey are integral to the experience, to the sense of joy, purpose and fulfilment we derive from it, and to the impact it has on ourselves and others (those we lead and love).

To be mindful is to experience the richness of the spaces in your life. If you’re drawn to get more out life, love, and leadership, here are three mindful practices to explore:

Apply ‘PRO’

This practice is wonderful almost any time, but especially when you’re feeling rushed, stressed, or crazy busy:

Pause – stop and take a moment to step out of what you’re doing, allowing yourself to just be.

Relax – take a long deep breath in and then let it back out slowly, allowing your body to soften and relax as you do.

Open – notice the sensations in your body, what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what you taste, how you feel, what you’re thinking…take it all in, before continuing on with whatever you need to do next.

Try Slow & Deliberate

This practice is an effective way to interrupt our autopilot mode—offering a new and refreshing way to experience hundreds of activities we often take for granted:

Pick a routine activity or task, something you normally do without thinking about it—perhaps walking to a meeting, brushing your teeth, eating a snack, or typing an email—and do it at a slower, more deliberate pace.

Notice all the things your body does to undertake the task, all the subtle and gross movements. Connect with all the sensations of this experience.

Pay attention, too, to how you feel (emotions) and to your thoughts (noticing them without holding onto them).

Let it all soak in, and when you’re finished, take this sense of spacious deliberateness into the next moment, and perhaps the next, as you go about the rest of your day.

Communicate with Intention

This practice offers the opportunity to interact, communicate and connect with others in a deeper, more fully engaged and conscious manner:

Before making a phone call, writing or responding to an email, leading a meeting, or speaking with another person (even a child), take a moment to ask yourself: ‘What are my intentions in this interaction? What values and messages do I want to convey?’

By taking a moment to define your intentions, you ‘set the compass of the heart,’ as Dr. Shauna Shapiro once put it. You are able to notice any thoughts, emotions, or circumstances that may be influencing you in that moment, to consider the context of the conversation, and make wiser, more constructive choices about the tone, spirit, and content of everything you say. In turn, you’ll get better responses from others. Leadership will feel easier and more natural.

 

May your explorations prove rich and rewarding; may they lead you to be increasingly curious and open to everything that is your life; and may they help you stand more often in place of wonder, equanimity, and acceptance.

Go well and stay well,

 

Mark

P.S. I’d love to hear what you think; how you’ve found these practices; what other mindful practices you find useful; and any questions you have. Please leave a comment and let’s start a conversation.